During my Gender, Knowledge and Communication class this week we were discussing the moment of brief panic you have when you see a celebrity trending on Twitter. The moments when you question ‘what did they do? Is it okay to still like them?’ In class, we were referring to Zac Efron, and to add to the conversation I then went to Twitter to see what was trending. 

 One thing that was trending that caught my eye was “#notallmen.” I mentally prepared myself for whatever I would see once I clicked to see what it was about. 

It was about the disappearance of Sarah Everard on March 3 while she was walking home at roughly 9 p.m. It was now March 12, she had been missing for 9 days, and it had been confirmed that her body had been found, prompting women from around the world to share their stories of sexual harassment and assault online. On March 15, a vigil was held in honor of Everard in London, unfortunately, women in attendance were arrested. 

What’s even more terrifying is that the man arrested under suspicion of Everard’s death is a police officer. The fact that women mourning the death of her were arrested by her alleged killer is one of their fellow officers. 

 Many women online have been saying that Sarah Evegards story hits close to home. She did everything she was supposed to do to stay safe yet she was not at all safe. This proves that no matter what women do, we are never safe because we are in danger of simply existing as women.

Everard went missing despite doing all the things that society tells women we need to do to stay safe. She was walking on a well-lit street, wearing bright and not “revealing” clothing and talking on the phone with her boyfriend, but she still was not safe. Is it really only up to women to stop things like this from happening? If doing all of the things taught to women to stay safe does not work, what will?

I saw that later along with the ‘#notallmen’, that ‘#notallmenbutallwomen’ and ‘#shewaswalkinghome’ were also trending. Highlighting that it is not all men, but enough men to cause every woman to be scared.

Every female I know has been taught from a young age that they have to be aware, be prepared and be wary of our surroundings to be safe. Carrying mace, holding your keys between your fingers, knowing where to most hurt an attacker and never wearing both earbuds outside so you can still hear what’s happening around you. All of these things and more are second nature to most women.

Stand-up comedian Daniel Sloss highlights this fact in his standup special “X”, saying “Women are trying their hardest not to get raped. Like, every day, they try to not get raped. I think it’s their priority. Mine’s WiFi.” 

Daniel Sloss’s whole special is worth watching; his story and points about this topic, in particular, are amazing. The ‘not all men’ idea is stupid, we all know that. But if these other men are not going to call out their friends for their bad behavior around women, they are just as much a part of the issue.

“When one out of 10 men are sh*t and the other nine do nothing, they might as well not f*cking be there,” Sloss said in his special. 

He described how he overlooked behaviors and actions in his friends, and then his male friend raped a female friend. Something that will haunt him for the rest of his life. You cannot simply think that since you are not a part of the problem that you are part of the solution. You need to actively be a part of the solution, and call out negative behaviors in those around you. 

Resources for survivors of all forms of sexual violence

On-campus title IX resources

https://www.hamline.edu/student-resources/sexual-violence-prevention/title-ix/

Title IX Coordinator: Patti  Kersten, Dean of Students/Title IX Coordinator

West Hall room 106D; 651-523-2421 Office 651-523-2948 (direct); pklein01@hamline.edu 

Deputy Title IX Coordinator: t. aaron hans, Sexualities, and Gender Diversity Programs Director/Deputy Title IX Coordinator

Anderson Center room 321; 651-523-2380; tahans@hamline.edu

RapeHelpMN

Find advocates and help throughout Minnesota 

http://rapehelpmn.org/

Confidential sources on-campus (do not have to report to Title IX)

Counseling and Health Services 

651-523-2750

Campus Chaplain and Rabbi 

651-523-2421

24/7 resources 

SOS Sexual Violence Services

651-266-1000

Confidential advocates 

St.Paul Domestic Intervention Project (confidential)

651-645-2824

Confidential Advocates 

Outfront Minnesota  

612-822-0127

Confidential Advocates