I am not a St. Paul native, but I do know my breakfast foods and there are some popular brunch spots that are not worth your time, so let me save you the trip.

Boujee Brunch, it is a luxury that is growing in popularity, but is it worth your time? With the long lines, the disgruntled, hungover cooks and menu items that could easily be cooked at home for a fraction of the price, the reality of its pleasantness is questionable. I am talking about “reinvented,” American-fare brunch; your eggs Benedict, pancakes, waffles and scrambles, all accompanied by that six dollar plate of hash browns and the mimosa you did not really need but felt compelled to get because, well, you are at brunch.

For instance, French Meadow is not worth it. Do not get me wrong, it has the beautiful ambience and delicious french fries, but everything else, you could leave in the dust. For instance, their salmon eggs Benedict was an utter disappointment. Soggy salmon, illy poached egg, a disgrace of a hollandaise sauce and a general malcontentedness that fell upon the demeanor of the serving staff. $25 for that? No thank you, if that is the case, I will get a coffee and pastry to go.

Groundswell, just a short stroll from campus, has good coffee, a friendly staff and their vegan banana bread is in the pocket. Their breakfast plates however, are lacking. I understand Groundswell is predominantly a coffee shop, so their menu items are simply a plus, but if this is your Sunday morning destination for brunch, think again. You will spend your entire morning waiting for a table and when the food arrives it will not have been worth the hour-plus wait. Instead, grab a pastry and a latte from the counter and enjoy your brunch in the mini-arboretum just four blocks away on Minnehaha.

“But I want to sit down for brunch. You know, take my sweet time, bask in the sun, sip my coffee and gaze upon my lover.”

Here we go, here is your answer: it is the greasy spoons, those small diners and cafes, the places that care less about vanity and pushing their pompous cuisine and more about flavor and consistency. I favor brunch joints like Keys Cafe, Colossal Cafe and Mickey’s Diner. It is the aged flat-iron griddle that has been bathing in grease for a decade, it is the fast-paced, no nonsense service that gets you in and out, but most of all, it is the classic and dependable quality and taste of the food. It is nothing fancy, but that is the beauty, you do not have to wonder if it will be satisfying. Wonderment is for dinner time.

I am no culinary wizard, nor would I even consider myself a foodie, but I love food and advocate for food I believe in. I am simply feeding you my perspective, go to brunch wherever you so desire. Have a gastronomic adventure this Sunday morning, but do not forget about your brunch classics. There is nothing more enjoyable than a seat at the counter, some greasy hash browns, bottomless black coffee and a plate of comfort.